Anatomy of an Indian Movie

I am finally stepping into the unknown and writing about stuff that I have no business about, not that I had any business with the previous ones. But for a guy who hasn’t seen an Indian movie in well over 11 years, I do know a lot about it (Or so I think). Why would you let a guy who once infamously asked who Ramba(A then famous Tamil actress) was? The picture says it all.

All I need is one minute of the film to tell which of the general plotline it would take, so lets dig in and try to conjure up one right now. To begin with need a few songs with lots of dancing shot in various locations around the world. Then you need to decide if you want a love story between a rich girl and a poor guy or vice versa, this can be exchanged for a urban – rural matchup or a literate – illiterate match up. This will form the skeleton structure of the movie.

Next come the muscles, need to make the hero stronger than Superman, able to as the picture indicates walk with a bullet in the heart. Also needs strength to cut a bullet into two using a knife and kill two people using those sliced pieces. Also helps if the hero is always outnumbered 1000 to 1.

Ofcourse you need the heart which would be 10 minutes of crying for whatever reason it might be. Maybe everytime the sacrifice of the hero is mentioned, it could turn into a sob scene.

The skin is provided by the fairer sex, specially with their “item” numbers*.

There is no need for a brain in this anatomy, if it had one, there would be a stroke as soon as it started functioning.

No movie is complete without the perfect climax, a pot pourri mix of fighting, blood(preferably from the hero), death (of one of the hero’s close family/friend) and the triumph of good over evil.

If only I had the money or the backing of the underworld.

“I’ll be back.”

* Item numer -> When you have a pretty lass who has no connection with the storyline dance sensuously as a popcorn break during the boring part of the movie.

Credits to Vijay for the picture.


3 thoughts on “Anatomy of an Indian Movie

  1. joanna

    Very True, but i should say quite entertaining if you dont use your brains while you watch, logic is something that does not belong there.

    I guess it fun as long as you dont fall prey to it and think its the same as real life !!

  2. Boss

    What appeals to the senses is usually evil, now where did I read that..Genesis 3..Eve saw the fruit was good and that it would make them like God (wise)..hahaha..She heard about this from the Devil himself, disguised like a snake….What a master at disguise…Advertisements of all kinds in todays world are masterful disguises of a product which on its own merit would not sell, but hey that’s why you have billion dollar industries touting everything from snake oil to luxury mansions and more..If you can come up with a product on this earth that is attractive to at least 2 of your senses, you will have a buyer..prove me wrong, someone..but there is a greater value for the things that are beyond our wildest imaginations in a place called heaven promised to those who only believe..want to try it..It is the gift from the Holy that is not of this world..It is free, now who would want to believe that..The price already paid, but this is hard sell…Now tell me do you believe in GOd or the Devil..hahaha


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